English version of this post is available below.
こんにちは、３児ワーママのマミントンです。
私は 「ラストワン」 に弱い人間です。
ディズニーランド閉園１０分前。走ればあと１回スプラッシュマウンテンに乗れるかもの「ラストワン」。
ビュッフェランチ。お腹いっぱいだけど、食べ放題だし、料金変わらないし、あと一皿の 「ラストワン」 。
限定品。コラボ商品。売り場で見ると、これが買える最後のチャンスかもの 「ラストワン」 。
そして最近変に頭を過るのは、妊娠の 「ラストワン」 。私は子どもは３人と決めていたし、今の生活で十分幸せです（というか、これ以上子どもが増えたら生活が崩壊しそう笑）。でも周りでアラフォー世代が最初で最後の妊娠・出産をし、可愛い新生児を見せてもらい、それと同時に我が家の末っ子が手を離れていくのを感じると、あ、私、もう小さな子どもの子育ては終わってしまったのか。と、すこーしだけ寂しい気持ちになるのです。と言っても、末っ子はまだ３歳だし成人するまでまだ１７年もあるわけなので、寂しがるのはまだまだ早い。しかしまぁ、アラフォーの私。妊娠・出産をできる身体ではもうすぐなくなるのです。日本ではなかなか見ない４人兄弟。だけど、４人目が欲しかったら今産むしかないよ！と謎の 「ラストワン」 の衝動を感じるのです。子どもは授かりものだし、欲しいからできるものでもないし、衝動買いみたいに軽い行動ではないのにね。
皆さん、このような衝動を感じることはありますか？
Hello, I’m Mamington, a working mom of three.
I have a weakness for the last one and the last chance.
10 minutes before Disneyland is closing. If I run, I might catch the “last one” round of my favorite ride, the Splash Mountain.
All you can eat buffet lunch. My tummy is full, but it is all you can eat for the price. I might as well have my “last one” plate.
Limited edition. Collaboration goods. If I see something that I like with limited edition stamped on them, say Adidas sneakers with Monsters Inc. print, I would have a rising urge to purchase it as it might be my “last one” chance to obtain it.
And these days, an idea of the “last one” run through my head that I never thought I would think about. The last one chance of having another child. I always thought I wanted three children. I am a happy mother of three today (and in fact, I highly doubt I can handle another child and still run a peaceful household and maintain my career). But I am nearing the age of 40. I have friends who are having their first and last child around the age of 40. I see their precious newborns and at the same time reminded that my 3rd boy who is now almost 4 years is growing up fast and he will be quick to grow out of my arms. Ok, I might be exaggerating. It won’t be another 15 or so years until I have an empty nest, but reminding myself that I am done raising a small child leaves me with a sense of loneliness. Soon, my body will no longer be capable of reproduction. Families with 4 children are rare to come by in Japan, but if I want a 4th child, now is my “last one” chance. I have this urge that I am facing my last chance to leave another mark on earth. Let’s not forget though, that a child is a blessing. We are not always blessed with a child even if we wished for one. And this urge is nowhere near the same as an urge to going on a shopping spree.
Do any moms out there ever contemplate these last chances as your children are growing older?